


Safety Net

by Spicylemons



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Internal Conflict, M/M, renjun is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 20:43:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15980129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spicylemons/pseuds/Spicylemons
Summary: Donghyuck didn't intend to get into such a mess.





	Safety Net

**Author's Note:**

> back at it again hhahaha 
> 
> sen d helpplsimfailing-

Donghyuck didn't intend to get into such a mess.

Originally, it seemed like a decent plan, restricting his food intake simply for the immense pleasure of being in “control” over something in his otherwise disastrous life.

Originally.

Life doesn't always end up the way you want it to, something Donghyuck realized a tad bit too late, specifically this evening, when his parents aren’t home and he feels particularly empty, even with the apple slices he ate an hour ago still in his stomach.

Donghyuck feebly touches his tan cheeks, ashamed of his appearance, his mother was especially brutal upon him about this fact, often saying he’ll never find anyone who would marry him, not when he had such dark skin, tired eyes and unkempt hair, but he couldn't help it. He was weak and helpless, like a little child trapped in a 16 year old’s body. It was far too late to fix his mediocre grades, or eating habits, or anything concerning his life at all.The constant belittling by his parents got to his head, and worsened his condition day by day, and soon enough all he can think about is his imperfections and how alone he was because of it.  
he sighs and slowly gets up to empty his stomach yet again.

Donghyuck knows its wrong, but he couldn't stop.The feeling of just having eaten a handful of cereal and running around the school track until his knees gave out made him feel powerful and alive, even if he was slowly killing himself on the inside.

It was his safety net.  
-

Mark stares at the blank canvas for the umpteenth time. He closes his eyes,waiting hopefully for that spark of inspiration to unfold within him and course through his veins. Slowly, he opens his eyes once again, picks up his brush, and starts painting.  
The spark never arrived, it hasn’t for a long time now.  
Paint slowly coats his hands as the day progresses.It's the weekend and he's spent all day cooped up in his small studio, hunched over his latest creation.His phone buzzes,and he takes a break to find out that yet another article has been published about him,praising his talent and innate artistic ability,even though he’s had exposure to the art world since he was 14, and it’s been 3 whole years ever since, the hype surrounding him never died down.  
Mark wasnt unaccustomed to such praise, and yet he hated it every. single. time.

His art truly, genuinely sickened him.

In his eyes, if people spent as much time actually trying to improve instead of wasting it by throwing empty compliments at him, they could easily reach his level of so called expertise, maybe even more so, but they didn't.The words of praise and adoration go in one ear and out the other,and Mark’s left with nothing but an empty void where his passion and love for art is supposed to be. He isn't exactly sure why he continues like this, lacking the mere will to express his feelings into whatever he painted but still moving on, just for the sake of his parents, who had spent large sums of money buying everything an amature artist could dream of and more. Sure, his art was still beautiful, but it lacked life.

He lacked life.

The countless tubes of paint wasted, all for canvases he’d sell with utter ease for hundreds. At this point, thanks to his popularity in the art world, he could easily just stop painting, sell every art related thing he owns and have just enough money to go to college somewhere abroad or live as a hermit in the himalayas amongst the goats and pine trees...except he’d probably have to fake his own death along the way just to hide from the obnoxious media, keen on documenting every minute aspect of his life.  
Mark sighs and sets down his brush and leaves, his painting unfinished, just like The Great Himalayan Hermit Plan and everything else in his flashy life.  
His art had no meaning and this very fact kept him up at night(often leading to a few accidents at school, like the one time he accidentally fell asleep during chemistry class and everyone thought he died.)  
Art was supposed to be his safety net and yet, he didn't feel safe at all.

-

Donghyuck is in the middle of falling asleep during AP Calc. when he sees it.The pink and purple splotches slowly coating his hands. He smiles softly in turn, his soulmate is painting again.  
It was a daily routine for him to constantly glance at his hands, waiting for the paint to stain his hands, the only physical proof that someone out there loves and accepts him, just the way he is.  
It's not always like this though, his self esteem often washes away just as quickly as it comes, leaving nothing but doubtful thoughts embedded in his mind.  
What if his soulmate sees his broken remnants and decides they can't be bothered to deal with it all? He doesn't deserve anyone,not when he was so unworthy.  
He’d spend hours in the shower,scrubbing his body with such intensity in hopes of scrubbing himself out of existence, or at the very least making his skin appear lighter. Donghyuck didn't understand why he was so fixated only on the negative comments his parents threw at him, nobody else seemed to mind, especially not the track team.They begged him to join multiple times, even if their efforts were in vain. Donghyuck politely refused each time. He wasn't the smartest, but he wasn't downright stupid either. The risk of being exposed to others was one he was not willing to take. The track team was known for their intensive training,and he's well aware he’ll never be able to keep up. A trip to the hospital was the last thing he wanted, albeit needed.  
Donghyuck was imperfect, and he would never understand why anyone would ever love him.

But he'd move on, because time wouldn't wait for him. 

-  
One day, Mark decides he's had enough.

Enough of the paint fumes in the tiny room. Enough of the fame and the expectations that came along with it. Enough of everything.  
He stops and screams until his throat is raw and his tears have fallen so quickly they stain the entire front of his shirt. ”Just stop for a day” his mind pleaded, even if his hands itched to be coated with bright and familiar hues.”Nobody will notice.” he thought, but Donghyuck did. 

In fact, Donghyuck spent his entire lunch arguing with Renjun,one of his few friends.

“Maybe he’s taking a break, Hyuck. Nobody can do the same thing every single day right?” Renjun calmly said,opening his lunchbox.

“He never has before” Donghyuck quietly replied, visibly upset.

“People change all the time,don’t overthink things” Taking a bite of his food, Renjun looks at Donghyuck and raises an eyebrow in judgement, efficiently shutting him up.

They both sit in silence, and the topic is never brought up again, buried deep in Donghyuck’s mind, covered up with idiotic jokes and snarky remarks about their teachers until he goes home and is left alone with his thoughts.

-

Meanwhile, Mark suffers. 

Everywhere he looks, he is reminded of his art. From the tiny specks of paint on the furniture to the slivers of paint beneath his nails, it all suffocated him and he needed to get out. He opts to visiting the tiny cafe down the road, and grabs a coffee to clear his mind. It doesn't work. He's alone with his thoughts and he hates it. He searches for ways to distract himself and decides that grinding coffee beans and cleaning stained tables after school everyday at minimum wage was the best way to go.  
-  
5 days have passed and Donghyuck is fed up.

The smears of paint that appeared across his hands daily was his drug, and he was definitely experiencing withdrawal symptoms right now.He picked up a pen and faltered, he's never bothered to converse before, too afraid he’ll mess up somehow and scare away his only hope of not being alone forever.Taking a deep breath, he brings the pen to his skin, tan from the countless hours spent running under the sun, trying to escape his worries with no avail. Donghyuck’s not sure why he’s not running away this time, but he knows he can't back out now.

-

Mark’s busy attacking the pile of unfinished homework at his desk when he feels a slight sting on his left arm.He glances at it to find a single sentence, neatly written on the inside of his wrist.  
”Why’d you stop?”

Mark’s not sure what he's more surprised at, the fact that after all these years, his soulmate tries to communicate with him, or their questionable choice of words.

Hands trembling,he grabs a pen and writes back.

“Stop what?”

Even though he's well aware that his soulmate’s probably referring to his art, or rather the lack of it.

“Don’t act oblivious.I’m talking about your art.The paint doesn't stain my hands anymore. Why’d you stop?”

Mark freezes. What could he possibly say?

“Reasons.”

“Reasons?That's it??” Donghyuck thinks. 

He's slightly annoyed at the response scrawled across his arm and is about to write a slightly foul-mouthed response for the idiotic, vague answer he’s received when he stops. Who was he kidding? This was the first time he ever attempted to make conversation with his significant other. He had always ignored the words written on his arms, the tiny hellos and the “My name’s Mark,what’s yours?” before they stopped completely. Mark had given up,and nobody else was to blame but him.

“I’m sorry.” Donghyuck writes after careful thought, and adds his number accompanied with a tiny “Text me..please?” below.

Mark can only look on with amused eyes as he grabs his phone.  
-  
It's been 7 months since Donghyuck and Mark had started talking, and Donghyuck smiles softly at the little message mark sent a few hours ago, 

Markle sparkle: “happy anniversary hyuckie ILY <3”

Donghyuck reminisces over his favorite memories he's made these past few months. 

From the first time they met to the first time they kissed to the countless comforting (and idiotic) messages sent over text. 

Duckie :“meet you at the Cafe?”

Markle sparkle: “see ya in 5 :D”

Donghyucks smile reaches his eyes as he walks towards his closet, and lifts up his shirt to look at his body. The hollow concave of his stomach was mostly filled out now, as Mark really loved to spoil him, and with his help(along with therapy), Donghyuck was slowly learning to love himself. It was taking to time to adjust, he essentially had to rewire his brain to learn to trust his own body again. His parents were now steadily rebuilding their relationship with him, and were more vocal with their praise. Donghyuck couldn't believe that so much had changed in just half a year. He would have never imagined his mother breaking down crying after learning that her own son was starving himself just to please her and her unrealistic expectations. 

But it did change, and Donghyuck didn't mind.  
-  
Mark smiles as he watches donghyuck approach him. He removes his apron after informing his coworker he was ending his shift now (to which Jaemin, his coworker simply wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner). 

Donghyuck walks to the counter as he silently observes Mark putting things away. 

“Hey” he says, 

“Hey. “ Mark replies, smiling.

“AY MARK GET SOME MY MAN” Jaemin screams. 

Mark turns a bright shade of red as he grabs Donghyuck’s hand and leaves the Cafe.  
They both head towards marks house, and upon reaching, promptly flop onto Mark’s bed. 

“Mark?” Donghyuck looks up from where he's using Marks chest as a pillow, 

“What's your favorite thing about our relationship?”

Mark pauses, deep in thought. 

“You.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes 

“Shut up, loser.”

But there's still a fond smile on his face. 

“Seriously, what is it?” he pesters

Mark lets out an airy laugh as he starts listing all the reasons he loves donghyuck,

“but my favorite thing about us, is probably how you inspired me to paint again. You became my muse, and suddenly art is enjoyable again. You're magic, duckie. Don't you ever forget that.”

Donghyuck blushes as he nuzzles his head deeper into Mark’s t-shirt, mumbling something along the lines of how unfair it was that Mark was so perfect and he had no right making Donghyuck so flustered like this. His favorite part probably paled in comparison to Mark’s long speech, but it still was his favorite.

Ever since they met, It had become a tradition for both of them to draw a tiny heart on each other, at the start of the day. 

They did it daily, without fail. 

It was a reminder that even if life seemed tough, they had each other. 

And that's all that mattered. 

If either of them were to fall, the other would be there to catch them. 

Their love became their safety net.

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by Zephani Jong's song, Safety net.(I just stole the title tbh, but please give it a listen! She's super talented and pretty).
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEuMN87mi2w
> 
> thank @ dia for editing this,youre an actual angel and i would be a mess if it werent for u thx ily


End file.
